Where do you start when it’s not the beginning? You start with survival of the difficulties; that’s where you start..
What makes us survive the choices we make, the abuse we’ve gone through, the loss we experience or life we’ve just given. Two things, YOU and Strength, that’s what makes us survive. Well that’s what made me survive. Rascal Flatts quote in a song “Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you’re made of, You might bend till you break, ‘Cause it’s all you can take, On your knees, you look up, Decide you’ve had enough, You get mad, you get strong, Wipe your hands, shake it off, Then you stand.” You decide you’ve had enough, You get strong, You stand.” When faced with situations, whether happy, scary or sad, we reach down and grab on to a strength that we never knew was possible. It takes strength to reach out for help or support, it take strength to stand up to our abusers and say enough is enough, it takes strength to raise a child that we know nothing about. When we get through whatever it is, in the end it’s YOU that fought to get where you are. What a powerful word…YOU.
YOU are strong, YOU are beautiful, YOU are powerful, YOU hold the cards, YOU control your future. So what are YOU going to do about it? Here’s what I did….
I decided to stand. Though my journey in life hasn’t been easy, I keep choosing to stand. Why you ask? Because if I don’t stand and take control of my life, whose going to do it? Nobody, it’s all up to me to stand and take control or lay down and die quietly. I’m not a quiet person. I have a level of patience that is just extraordinary! I can put up with stuff for a long time and just brush it off. But there comes a point when patience isn’t enough anymore and we have to stand. We reach down to find the strength for just one more argument, the strength to file for that divorce, the strength to become a working, single parent or the strength to say goodbye when we lose a loved one. I’ve heard that strength comes in numbers. I don’t believe that; perhaps if you’re in the military fighting in a war. I believe that strength is more powerful when you find it within, not in numbers. When you begin to add “strength in numbers”, the pot becomes to full and then every ones an expert on you and your situation, what you should do or where you should go or what steps you need to take and rumors start to get passed around. What happens next is everything boils over and word gets around about what your doing or trying to do and then everyone’s an expert on what happened and you learned about things you never knew happened. Catching on yet? Pick one person that you trust won’t say anything to anyone and will just listen and perhaps give some suggestions, not tell you what to do but just give suggestions. I chose my mother. She’s my “person”. My mother lets me vent, she lets me cry, she gives me suggestions and she never judges. And she encourages me to find my inner strength and fight to get to where I want to be. Who’s your person?
So perhaps by now you’re thinking that the title “Not the beginning…” isn’t making any sense. It does actually. Strength never seems to be where we start. Be begin with sadness, confusion, depression, giving up, thoughts of “maybe I deserves this”. All the negative thoughts are what comes first. I’m not saying “fight or flight”, I’m saying keep your strength first. So how do we get from all those negative thoughts and get to the strength that we have and keep it firs? We have to find it first and never lose it; never let it get pushed to the bottom by hurtful words or situations that we fell we’ll never get through. We have to keep at the beginning. we have to tell ourselves that these are only words, this isn’t who I am, this isn’t what I deserve, I deserve better. With our strength staying at the top, our minds are sharper, we think better, we can formulate game plans better, we can fight back to take control of who we are and where we want to be. No one can make you keep your strength, YOU have to do this. Anyone can take it away by degrading you, abusing you, ignoring you, spreading rumors about you. But only YOU can keep those things from taking away your strength. How will you keep your strength? Positive self talk, an I love me book with certificates, diplomas and other accomplishments of yours (look at it, read it), a decorative picture with a positive quote hung where you see it daily.
Here’s a question to ask yourself daily, “How will I fuel my strength today?” at the end of the day ask yourself “How did I fuel my strength today?” Remember what works for you and do it. I hope to write more later this evening or tomorrow. Until then happy reading 🙂
carriesconclusions 